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sheistheenemy

[ website | They Love Another ]
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[24 Nov 2004|09:57pm]
[ mood | blah ]

uhh new journal...again...
www.livejournal.com/users/fearforthebest add it!

and love said no

we'll be free... [21 Nov 2004|06:00pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Hey dolls,
My computer crashed today. and it took hours for me to fix, and all my documents, programs, pictures, and everything on my computer is gone. Oh well. Last night I was supposed to go to the play but my mom decided to make other plans after she made plans with me. It's fine I guess. Anyways, Only two days of school this week which is good. hmm... I really dont know what else to say.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

2 cried and love said no

good times.. [18 Nov 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | whatever ]

Hello dolls,
today was pretty ok. I went out to breakfast with Nikki which was lovely, she is so great, and that was a fun time. Then school was ok. I had mostly good classes so ya. Then I came home and I hung out with Sarah, God I NEVER hang out with her anymore, I dont think I've hung out with her in like a year,which is weird because I like RIGHT next to her, I forgot how cool she is. and then I was going to go to the play but my mom wont take me so whatever. I am still gonna go see it tommorow and/or saturday. Tommorow is friday thank God, I am so tired of school. bleh, and the people who attend it, seriously. But whatev. I have some homework so I think I am going to get to that.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

2 cried and love said no

Where the hell has everything gone? [13 Nov 2004|10:33pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Hello dolls,
what has happened? Can someone please tell me. I started reading an old diary of mine and it made me think how much I've changed, and how much other people have changed, and how much my life has changed. And then my brothers been watching home movies lately and I sat down and watched one, my dad was in it, and it made me realize how much I wish I could go back in time. Even if the happy family was all a lie, it felt real to me. And even if my parents weren't still together I just wish my dad could be here. It makes me think, will he be here for the important things in my life? Will he watch me graduate? If I get married, will he give me away? and not even the important things just the little things, I miss it so much. And I miss so much how just everything else used to be, like friends, I feel like I don't know anyone anymore. I imagine things will be better, and perhaps things will change as they always do, and maybe I will be more content with my life. And it's not that anything is bad and it's not that Im doing bad or horrible or anything like that, I guess I am just reflecting on things write now, and wishing I could have them back. Well that's enough of that. Last night I went to the play, it was good, I am going to go see it many more times. Then today I went and got a library card! lol. I lost mine and have been needing to get a new one. I checked out a couple books which I am excited to read, but I wont have for a few days because they were at a different library. Then I hung out with my brother some, god, he is so mean, all them hormones! ya then I made danced for like a long time, dont know why, I guess it was a random idea I had and so I danced for like 45 minutes. lol. well thats about all I have to say.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

5 cried and love said no

Maybe were victims of fate. [11 Nov 2004|09:41pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Hell dolls,
fuck shit NEVER working out, fuck it, seriously, I so dont want to deal with this shit anymore. Bleh. Oh well wont go into that. Hmm in other news I got to see my lovely grandma today she had some halloween goodies for me, she was going to give it to me on Halloween, but I didn't end up visiting her. Shes so sweet though, I also got my tv. I used it for about five minutes before I got bored, I suppose that is why I got rid of my last one two years ago, oh well, when I get a vcr, i suppose it will be more entertaining, because I like movies, tv is just so boring, there is never ANYTHING interesting on. I had a dream last night, it was lovely. God, I miss EVEYRONE so much. I am losing touch with Jill and Megan, it makes me sad. And I really haven't hung out with ANYONE lately. bleh. Well I have to venture to school tommorow so I must retire.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

1 cried and love said no

Is it your face, That's got you down? Or is it you mind when no one's around? [08 Nov 2004|06:39pm]
[ mood | not sure.... ]

Hey Darlings,
So today was fairly boring, went to school, which sucked because I was sick :(. First period I didn't do anything I talked the whole time because we had a sub. Second was retarted and I didn't do shit because we were supposed to write an essay but the prompts were retarted. So I was like oh well. Third we talked politics, which I wasn't to interested in but we did like barely anything. OMG in French we had a test I thought was later in the week so I didn't study, so I think I didn't do so hot, which is dissapointing, considering if it wasn't for tests I would have an A. bleh. fifth we didn't do muich and then in 6th I did a flower drawing. In other news, we supposedly sold our house, I don't even feel comfortable saying that considering everytime I do, something happens and we end up not moving, and I really don't want to be dissappointed again. Lets just hope all goes well. If we do move it will be in 3 weeks which is good. If we moved before Christmas I would be so happy. Cky is coming out with a new cd in 2005 so that also makes me very happy! Well, I think I am going to spend some quality time with my brother and watch cky2k, so later.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

and love said no

Once Again... [07 Nov 2004|11:32am]
[ mood | worried ]

Hello sweet dears,
this week was the LONGEST week of my life, God, I hate school. Soo hmm friday I went to the football game which was fun, I danced a majority of the time, lol, I got to hang out with some pretty cool kids, which was rad. And then yesterday was my cousin's birthday so we went out to dinner and were going to go bowling but I was sick and my sister was tired and it was an hour wait till cosmic bowling so we just decided to leave. Then I got home and went to bed and had the WEIRDEST dream , lol. So today, I really dont have any plans but some people are coming to look at our house so imagine I have to clean, yippe! not. Well that about it.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

2 cried and love said no

come on and gimme some.... [03 Nov 2004|03:26pm]
[ mood | nap time... ]

Hey Darlings,
Thank fucking God this election is finally over. I really care little about politics and would've been fine no matter who won, but I am a little more comfortable with it being Bush. Bleh, seriously though, I am just glad to know it is over. Anyways, enough about that shit. Today was long, I have been so tired all day, which I dont understand because I have been getting enough sleep and everything, why am I always so tired, like I could sleep for a week, wake up, and would still be tired. Its CRAZY!! lol. Hmm so I am feeling very weird about where exactly I am in life at this point, as far as what my purpose in life is, I am not sure, and don't exactly know what i should be doing with myself. Oh well. A new AFI cd just came out I guess, I have yet to hear much about, but can imagine I will be making a purchase quite soon. well anyways I think I am done.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

7 cried and love said no

Tears keep falling on the floor, as the world around her crumbles [01 Nov 2004|08:15pm]
[ mood | impatient ]

Hey Dolls,
God, life is confusing. So I went to school which sucked because of the fact I really didn't want to be there and then we got home and someone called and said they were coming to look at the house so I had to clean the house and they never showed up, so that was pretty fucking retarted. God, I miss my dad, I hope I get to see him for Christmas. I am so fucking tired, its been such a fucking long day. bleh. I hate mondays. I feel so fed up with everything anymore, my patience is wearing thin, and I really want to get past everything that is going on right now, I feel like something is holding me back and I really just want to move on....meh. Fuck these feelings. Ya I decided I am giving up on relationships, because I am never content with them, and I don't think I am made to be able to deal with them. So for now I am content as far as that part of my life goes, so I guess that is good. I dont know why I do this to myself I should realize that everything will work out and even if it doesn't it's not like they are life-threatning things I have to worry about, I am just tired of not exactly knowing what is happening, or whats going to happen. I guess all I can do is hope for the best.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

5 cried and love said no

Come a little bit closer.... [31 Oct 2004|12:20pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Hello boys and ghouls,
It is Halloween!! finally, I am so excited. trick-or-treating tonight, shall be a blast. weee. Yay for dressing-up....
let's play dress up...Collapse )

wee, that was fun!! I must be off though.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN DEARS!!
Take care sweethearts,
Jordan

5 cried and love said no

Candy apples and razor blades .... [30 Oct 2004|05:18pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Hey Dolls,
bleh, People need to mind their own buisness and leave me the fuck alone, bleh. Oh well fuck them. So anyways...today was shitty, sat home all day, and ate. Tommorow is Halloween, weee! I am soo excited, but I am kind of in trouble now so I am hoping I can still go trick-or-treating but I am pretty sure I can because if I could'nt I would DIE!! seriously, I dont think anyone understands how excited I am. Anyways...last night I went to the camas-washougal football game, it was a good game, and we won. so woot! Oh, today I recieved my free rosaries I ordered, hells yes! I think they gave me one to little or my brother took one of them. yesterday I recieved some halloween goodies from my dad, it sooo made my day. And then last night I watched dawn of the dead, I didn't like it very much... well I dont know what else to say.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

1 cried and love said no

No I don't wanna fall in love, this world is always gonne break your heart [26 Oct 2004|08:21pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Hey Darlings,
God, life is annoying. I went and got my Halloween costume today, I am going to be a vampire again, oh how I love vampires! Ya I also got some pants which was nice. God I am soo confused lately, it's like nothing makes me happy, like no matter what I do I always end up making the wrong decision it's horrible. Oh well, things will get better with time....hopefully. I am very excited for Halloween though! God, I really can't wait till I move, hopefully we will. But it is taking soo long. well I love you, yes YOU. But I must be going.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

and love said no

why is life so confusing??? [24 Oct 2004|11:03am]
[ mood | tired ]

Hey Dolls,
Hmm last few days have gone by soo fast, I don't understand it.. ya so friday I went to the game for like 5 minutes then I went to parkside, and it was weird, I guess, I got to see some loves there though so it was cool. Hmm then yesterday I went to Homecoming, and surprisingly had a good time. I didn't think I would, but Im actually glad I went. but now I am like grounded because I came home too late or something I guess, but Im not sure, because I talked to my mom about it for awhile and she didn't seem as mad, so I do not know. Hmm I might go to a dog show or something today..lol. probably not though, but maybe, its something to do. and in case you didn't see me last night.....
.......Collapse )
yep so school tommorow, meh. I hate it. and I have homework to do, lame. ok well I am off
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

6 cried and love said no

Because I AM that stupid..... [20 Oct 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Hey Dolls,
Umm I am currently dying my hair at the moment, I figured if I was going to be balding I should at least have the satisfaction of not having growout, lol. Hmm so today I came home and took a small nap, went to the mall, got a bra, came home for like 2 seconds, went to the Hawthorne district and got the rest of my homecoming stuff, Oh god, the stuff I got is rad, I got the coolest boots!! and they were on sale too, wow fun stuff, Ya so I would tell you about them, but I dont want to ruin the suprise, now do I? so I will post pictures after homecoming. Then I came home, and then I went to wallgreens and got some stuff. And thats about it. Yes today was kinda fun, which was weird. Hmm school is retarted tho...bleh. hmm I am a little upset because lately people have been treating me like I am inferior to them or something, and I don't deserve it at all, so I just think it;s really uncool, but whatev. Hmm well I guess that is about it.
with love,
Jordan

6 cried and love said no

life is too long..... [19 Oct 2004|08:37pm]
[ mood | bald ]

Hey Dolls,
Bleh. I have been so tired lately, I dont know what is with me. OMG I like went to go get hairdye because my roots are showing majorly and I was going to redye my hair before homecoming, ya know? So I go and get the hair dye and I see hair relaxer and I have been waiting to go get it professionally done, but last time I went to get it done which was years ago, they said they couldn't because it was too overprocesed, and I had only dyed my hair once at that point and my hair is like 10 times worse so I was like there is no way they will do it, so it was cheap and I was like oh ok I will do it myself....I really should of listened to them because I lost soo much hair when I did it, and I have been losing tons of hair for like the past 3 months so now I have bald spots, lol. I guess I won't be dying my hair before homecoming because of the fact I can't risk processing my hair anymore...bleh. OH well. I really feel like crying though because I have bald spots the size of quarters and everytime I touch my hair a piece falls out and it like disintegrates in my hand, like its soo bad oh well. Ill just shut up about that now. what else is new..... well I guess there is other stuff but I don't feel like typing anymore.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

9 cried and love said no

It won't be all right despite what they say [17 Oct 2004|01:23pm]
[ mood | not sure... ]

Hello Dolls,
I haven't been writing like at all lately.....which is weird I guess. Hmm so I am grounded and bored like no other. But I got to go to the football game on friday which was cool, I saw many of my lovers ;). Yes 'twas nice. Hmm yesterday I sat at home all day. bleh, but my mom rented me some movies last night which I haven't watched yet, and I need to because they are due back today, I rented Godsend, which I've been wanting to see real bad and was going to watch it last night, but it was really late and I so I didn't want to watch it that late by myself because I knew I probably would get freaked out. Hmm but I did watch American Splendor and The Day After Tommorow, both were pretty ok, really liked American Splendor. Meh today is sunday, I don't want to go to school tommorow, I have an essay and a few other things due which I have not started oh well, Im grounded so I have ALL day. Oh we got Harley shaved she is so cute ^_^.....

I watch the stars as they fall from the sky Collapse )
aww I just love her. Soo much.
Oh and in case you forgot what I looked like....

so bored with mortality, I decay Collapse )
Anyways..... I miss you all. I never hang out with anyone anymore, it is sad. Hmm Ive been feeling down lately and I think I am starting to feel a little bit happier. God, I barely listen to AFI as much as I used to, I forgot how much I love them, all of there stuff is soo good. OK I guess I am done.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

11 cried and love said no

Why aren't things the way they should be? [13 Oct 2004|10:00pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hello Dolls,
Bleh. I haven't been writing in here as much as I used to which is good because I was updating to much. Hmm so the past few days have been fairly boring. Tommorow I have a chapter test in french which I think I will fail because I studied and I didn't remember anything that I had learned before like monday. Bleh. I was going to get Eric's present today with Erin but she wasn't there, so now I don't think I will be able to, oh well. I am doing so horrible in school I should be trying to do better but instead I just continue to dig a whole, and soon I am not going to be able to do anything about it. Hmm. I feel like I never spend any time with anyone anymore, I say hi and stuff, but that is about it. Oh well, hmm ya. Oh well I'm done.
Take Care Sweethearts,
Jordan

1 cried and love said no

I've been searching..... [10 Oct 2004|09:22pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Hello my dearest friends,
Today was pretty boring.....I went to a softball meeting for my sister and then I went and got my homecoming dress.....meh.....I really don't want to go, I guess I will probably end up having fun and everything, but I feel so distant from everyone anymore, so I have a feeling it might be really awkward, and it just doesn't sound like fun to me :/. I don't know I am being retarted don't mind me. So then me and my mom got in this fight and it was lame, I am getting so tired of her, she will do something rude or completely inappropriate and I will call her on it, and she will try and turn it around and act like I wronged her by bringing up something completely irrelevant to the entire situation. Whatever I don't care. Meh, sorry I am being all bitchy I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't want to go to school tommorow, I have to stay after and I am probably going to get bitched at because of this thing I didn't even do bleh. Anyways, I REALLY have been wanting to go minigolfing for like ever now, so fuckers you are all coming minigolfing with me this coming weekend so I think on saturday? maybe.... I don't know. but ya. Thats about it.
take care sweethearts,
Jordan

4 cried and love said no

7 days..... [09 Oct 2004|08:40am]
[ mood | distressed ]

Hey Dolls,
hmm let's see whats been going on.......on thursday I went to that movie night thing at the school. It was fun. Me and Eric went, and there was like NO ONE there, lol. So ya we watched Mean Girls and The Ring. Ya Mean Girls sucked, and Lindsay Lohan is the most classless whore I've ever seen, well one of them. Ya but they started way late, so we were like walking around the school for like an hour. Ya so that was just a pretty fun night. And then yesterday I went with Roxanne and her mommy to Clackamas and Walmart and that was cool. And then last night I went to the parkside thing. It was ok I guess, but I've never been extremely fond of those things. And I really hate a vast majority of hardcore and so like ya. But I got to see Nikki and Erin and lots of other cool people, so that was cool. and then I cam home and did nothing. and then I just woke up and here I am.and thats about it.
with love,
Jordan

1 cried and love said no

I know you've heard it all a million times..... [06 Oct 2004|05:40pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey Dolls,
Today wasn't great...really long..bleh. Somebody really pissed me off today, I guess it really wasn't a big deal at all but people really need to watch what the fuck they say. Bleh. Ya so I am really getting sick of some people, and really wanting to spend time with others, but I feel like I am growing apart from some of the people I really wish I could see more. Oh well. I am in such a weird place right now and I just really dont know what to do with myself, sometimes I just wish everything would just go away, even for a little bit because I just feel so overwhelmed. Ok enough bitching. In other news...uhh monday night I went to the JV football game and got to see Josh ,I adore that kid. I also got to hang out with James, Kaylee, Rachel, Brian, Krista, Allie, and some other cool kids which was nice, because I havent really hung out with anyone outside of school in a long time. Ya and then yesterday I don't think i did anything. So ya that is about it.
with love,
Jordan

5 cried and love said no

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